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A Lesson in Family History by Rachel Paxton
A lesson in family
history is as near as your family's cemetery. Teach your children and
grandchildren about those who have come before them.
Several years ago I
attended my grandfather's funeral. Living into his late eighties, my
grandfather had lived a long, eventful life, first with my father's mother
who died after more than 40 years of marriage, and then with his second
wife, whom he shared his life with for more than 20 years until he died.
When my grandfather died, his wife, who is now in a nursing home, forever
said goodbye to her third husband and my grandfather was buried next to
his first wife, the mother of his four children, in the small farming
community where their children had been born and raised.
When we arrived at
the burial site, I didn't at first realize all of the family history
recorded before my very eyes. My aunt, my father's sister, had lived all
of her almost 60 years in this small community, and she knew the history
of each relative buried there, dating back to the early 1800's. As we
walked in between the grave stones, my aunt told me story after story of
the people who were laid to rest in this quiet peaceful
place--grandparents, great-grandparents, great aunts and uncles. She told
me the story of how my grandmother's mother had died when my grandmother
was a small girl, and how she and her brother had been sent to live with
relatives until their father remarried and they were brought back to live
with his new family. My aunt showed me where my great grandparents were
buried, as well as my great uncle. My grandmother was buried on the other
side of the cemetery, however, with my grandfather's family--his family
had also been buried there for generations. I got goose bumps as I looked
in awe at all the history before me. My grandfather was buried right next
to my grandmother, where she had been patiently waiting for him for more
than 20 years.
After the burial
services we went and visited at the home of my grandmother's half sister,
a great aunt I had never met. My father's family is a quiet bunch who
normally keep to themselves and their own lives, and I'd never been with
so many members of his family at once. I made a point to take lots of
pictures and later made copies of them to send to his brothers and sister.
I knew in my heart that if I didn't that moment would be lost and gone
forever. They would probably never be together in one place again.
I left with a small
sense of sadness and a great awareness of my mortality and my duty to
preserve my family's memories. I wished my daughter had been there with me
to see what I had seen. She still does not have a sense of connection to
the family members who have come before her.
My mother's family
lives closer to us, and this Memorial Day I have made the commitment to
journey to the small community where my mother grew up to visit the graves
of her family members. Her sister, my aunt, still lives there and still
remembers the history represented by the solemn grave markers. I will take
my daughter with me this time, and I will talk to her of those who have
come before her. I want her to grow up with a sense of purpose and a sense
of connection to the past so she can more consciously participate in the
future to come, affecting the lives of those will come after we are
gone--those who might visit our graves and wonder what great things we
accomplished during our lifetimes.
What will people
say about you when you're gone? I hope people will say about me, "She
was a loving wife and mother. A source of strength to all who knew her.
May God bless her and give her peace."
Rachel Paxton is a
freelance writer and mom who is the author of What's for Dinner?, an
e-cookbook containing more than 250 quick easy dinner ideas. For recipes,
tips to organize your home, home decorating, crafts, and frugal family
fun, visit Creative Homemaking at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and
Suite 101 at http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/creative_homemaking. To
subscribe to their monthly newsletter send a blank e-mail message to
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